When the rug is pulled out from beneath you and you lay there on your back, wind knocked out of your lungs, head pounding from the impact of the floor, how long does it take for you to get back up?
Hours? Days? Weeks? Months? Years?
It used to take me months or years. Now it takes hours to days.
Almost every time it is accompanied by waves and waves of emotions rocking my soul and my heart like a storm swept sea.
Anger, sadness, convulsive fear. My heart pounding so hard panic threatens to take over. I can hardly breathe when I think of what has happened, what might happen, what will happen.
These emotions threaten to overtake me until I catch my breath.
Deep breath in, I will survive this. Deep breath out, I have no control. Deep breath in, I am the boss of me. Deep breath out, I surrender to the will of God and the Universe. Deep breath in, I am love and I am loved. Deep breath out, I am Dr. Melissa Bird, PhD. Deep breath in, I call on the wisdom of my tribe and ask for prayers. Deep breath out, I receive all the messages my loved ones have to send me.
I rise, like always, like the Phoenix on my back. I focus on my present moment and the gifts that are all around me.
I replace the ripped out carpet with a new heavier one that cannot so easily be pulled from underneath me.
I breathe.