“You can’t fast forward to an outcome. Not before you go a little deeper inward & mop up the mess, absorb the dirty, find the detritus & quite literally put it in the skip.”
There is a glorious power in grief. Our connectedness to grief and loss is simultaneously exhausting and exquisite. Grief gives us an opportunity to evaluate our lives in unimaginable ways. It reminds us that no matter how hard we try and force an outcome, the divine always has other plans.
For the last year, many of us have been in a constant state of grief. This pandemic has taught us so much about loss, lack of control, and what happens when we surrender to outcomes.
For the last year, I have been looking inward at where I have been holding back. It has mostly been in allowing myself to fully expand into my own spiritual expansion. I have been terrified of being burnt at the proverbial stake, worried that fully expressing myself in the largesse of my power will destroy the people around me.
Turns out I am not alone in that fear.
Many of us self select silence out of fear.
Today’s quote from Alice Grist reminded me to dig deeper. To not just look at the detritus and mess of this life, but to look inside at my own genetic legacy of power and death, oppressed and oppressor, fear and hope. And in that mess, I can see the beautiful balance of why I am here on earth today.
Feminine and masculine, flow and force, Christian and Pagan, prophet and healer, colonizer and Southern Paiute.
I am many, we are many. I am my great-great grandmother's daughter. I represent the web and the trinity, the healer and the healed.
Today I invite you to hang up the tapestry of your life. Look for the stains, beat out the dust, bring the entirety of your beautiful self forward out of darkness and forward into light.
See how your dust motes shimmer in the rays of the sun.
Grieve in the fullness of the witnesses all around you.
Know that you are being held by magic and spirit.
Here you are being healed.
Blessed be. Amen.