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Eff Sh*t Up Friday – The revolution is within you

1 min

Eff Sh*t Up Friday – The revolution is within you

This week I walked in three different labyrinths. This is what I wrote after my walks. The revolution is within you. The calling is within you. The magnificent presence of the divine feminine is within you. You are prepared to conceive of your greatest life. This will be a challenge but I stand here waiting, holding you in the cushion of my love, the bosom of my heart, the cradle of my light. You are supported by the foundation of the angels. They have spread their wings

Monday Mayhem – I have a prayer

2 min

Monday Mayhem – I have a prayer

I have a soul calling. I have heard it in my heart ever since I was a little girl. It is a compulsion that I have spent most of my life running away from because I didn’t understand the importance of listening to the whispers of my heart. Every heartache, every struggle, every loss, every fear has led us to this moment of opportunity to make lasting, focused, rebellious change. We cannot fail if we follow the whispers of the heart. We have been divinely guided to this moment.

Monday Mayhem – Yesterday I did a thing I SWORE I would never do

3 min

Monday Mayhem – Yesterday I did a thing I SWORE I would never do

I did a thing yesterday that I swore I would never do. I got baptized. This is a loaded word for me. A complicated word. It is a sentence that I never thought I would write or speak of as an adult. It freaks me out to be telling you so publicly. It feels like something that should be a secret not a celebration. I got baptized. This is not my first baptism. My first baptism happened when I was 8 years old. It was in the Mormon church. I got baptized not because we were Mormon

Monday Mayhem – Infertility, heartbreak, revolution

3 min

Monday Mayhem – Infertility, heartbreak, revolution

On August 16, 2010 my wife of 6+ years left me 5 hours after I had been inseminated. I was DEVASTATED. I crumpled into the fetal position on the kitchen floor and didn’t move for 3 days. While I was down there I prayed in earnest for the first time in my life. Dear God, please give me someone who loves me for who I am and give me my own family. Eventually that someone showed up. He was a he. He was in the Army. He was getting divorced. He had 3 kids. Our lives were mess

Monday Mayhem – March for our Lives

2 min

Monday Mayhem – March for our Lives

This morning a friend of mine posted this poem on Instagram: This poem resonated with me so deeply for a number of reasons. One is that I am seeing a whole lotta policing of peoples actions in activism and that makes me worried for the future of all sorts of movements. We are human beings engaging in the risk to take action in 2018. We aren’t going to get it right all of the time. For many throughout the country this is the first time they have spoken out. There is a great

The Waiting or What Happens When You Grow Gremlins in Your Boobs

3 min

The Waiting or What Happens When You Grow Gremlins in Your Boobs

On March 17 I thought there would be no better way to celebrate St. Patricks Day than with a mammogram and ultrasound. I mean nothing says “Kiss Me I’m Irish” better than strange people pancaking and sliming up your boob to get a better look at the insides of the mammory glands. I wasn’t nervous…this was the last of 2-3 years of every six months or so checking up on the two fibroids Bonnie and Clyde that they found in 2011. And then… Well then the radiologist said, “Woah, z

1 min

Into the Abyss

I am drowning…I am drowning in: Shame Guilt Anger Fierce HATE Insecurity Fear I am trying to pray. I am trying to be more love centered. I am trying to be kind. I am trying not to run away. But… All I want to do is: Scream Throw Kick Beat Yell Cry Lash Out Breakdown Sob I am trying to have patience. I am trying to let go. I am trying to stop self sabotaging. I am trying to keep looking at the sky. What is it that I don’